Boy, Did I Screw Up This Week

Boy, did I screw up this week.

No, it’s worse than that.

Boy, did I find out this week that I’ve been screwing up for several weeks.

When a student in my class isn’t doing well (long-term or short-term), I hold tight to a very certain mindset:

1. The problem is rarely that the student “doesn’t care.”
2. The problem is rarely that the student’s parents “don’t care.”
3. The problem is often that something is going on in the student’s life
4. The problem is often that the student is missing something he/she needs to be successful
5. The problem is often me
6. The student him/herself is rarely able to make the connection between the problem and his/her academic performance, and thus,
7. The student is very likely to blame his/herself for the shortcomings if asked to identify the problem (“I need to work harder,” “I’m stupid,” “I can’t do this,” etc)

I will grant, adhering to this mindset isn’t easy.  In frustrating moments and with frustrating students, it is almost instinctive to blame the student, his or her work ethic, or his or her family.  But when I calm down and take some time to think and look into matters, 90% of these problems stem from something in #3, #4, or #5.  If I stay disciplined, avoid simply asking the student “what’s going on?” (see #6), and and look into #3, #4, and #5, I can get things turned around most of the time.

This mindset, however, only works if I follow through.

And this week, I was reminded of what can happen if I don’t.
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A lot of my online students started to fall apart in February and March.  Corners were cut, work was avoided, and so predictably, performance suffered quite a bit.  This was a #5 problem (as most problems involving large numbers of students tend to be).  I upped the accountability, increased on-the-spot-communication with parents, and reviewed my own advice regarding online learning to see where I’d begun to get lax, and voila, I got most of the kids moving in the right direction again.

Photo of an online student reacting to an assignment from me in February and March

I’m going to tell you today about one of the students who I DIDN'T get moving in the right direction again. I’m going to call her “Adrianna.”

Adrianna still wasn’t doing practice assignments.  She was still bombing some assessments and not even so much as attempting other ones.  She was still skipping recorded lessons entirely, and she rarely had anything to contribute in small group time.  My new efforts hadn’t improved a thing.  

I started off on the right foot.  I had a long phone call with Adrianna’s mom, who was every bit as frustrated as I was.  In fact, she was desperate.   Adrianna is able to attend my school despite not living within our zone because she participates in a special program we have, and without strong grades, she may lose that privilege next year.  Adrianna knows that, and she had been telling her mom that she didn’t care if she couldn’t do the program any more; she just wanted to go to the other school next year because our school was just too hard and she wasn’t smart enough to keep up (see #7 above).  Adrianna, mind you, speaks three languages, was placed in the accelerated math program to start middle school, and has been a more-A’s-than-B’s student her entire life.

After the long talk with mom, I figured we had it cleared up.  Likely just a case of Zoom-school burnout and hoping I wouldn’t notice the corners being cut.  I’ve been through a lot of those this year, getting in sync with the family usually does the trick.  The next day, based on my past experience, she’d log in early, buckle down, and participate more than usual.

She didn’t.

Nothing changed. 

Nothing.  ​

Something did, however, change on my end - I abandoned the mindset I outlined above.  She kept doing poorly on assessments, and I let it happen.  She no-showed to opportunities to improve those assignments, and I let it happen.  She didn’t meaningfully participate in class or work, and I let it happen.  Eventually the consequences will catch up to her, right?

I backslid right into a “this kid doesn’t care” mindset. 
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Video footage of me reviewing my "when students struggle" mindset after the phone call with Adrianna's mother didn't fix it.

An embarrassingly high number of days passed like this.  Eventually, she came around on my check-in phone call rotation.  I usually try to call two at-home students to connect while I drive home every day.  These aren’t academic-focused calls, but I do ask how they feel school is going and if they need anything in that regard as part of the conversation.  I usually just get a quick “everything’s good” or “I know what I need to do” and we move on to something else.

​A photo of me trying to count the embarassingly high number of days I let Adrianna flounder without asking her.

Adrianna, on the other hand, said “I need help.”

Referring back to my 7-point mindset, you’ll recall that #6 lays out that when a student is struggling, they very rarely know the reason why.  Particularly if the issue is a personal struggle, a missing support, or what I’m doing in class, I just don’t see kids able to connect that to their performance in school.  As I say in #7, they just blame themselves - “I’m dumb,” or “I’m not working hard enough.”  Adrianna was the rare exception.  She knew exactly what was wrong.

“What we’re doing is getting hard, and I’m too afraid to ask for help in front of the class.  So what I do is wait to do my work until the evening when my brother can help me.  I know you’re mad at me, and I don’t always do the work later, but usually I try.”

Harsh reminder delivered.

The problem is rarely that the student doesn’t care.  The problem is rarely that the family doesn’t care.  The problem is often that the student is missing something that she needs to reach her potential.

And the problem is often me.

I waited too long to talk to her about it. She was never going to bring it up if I didn’t give her the chance.  So she did the best she could on her own with what she had available to her.

We talked for a long time, sorted it out, and came up with a plan. After getting my hopes up the first time, I knew better than to expect that, she’d just flip a switch and log in early, buckle down, and participate more than usual the next day.

But she did.  

She still has progress to make.  Turnarounds are hard, even when the right intentions are there.  I wish I hadn’t let her drift so far so that the road back wasn’t quite so long.  But she’s moving in the right direction. 

I’m sorry, Adrianna.  I hope my mistakes don't close any doors for your down road.


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