Two sets of "magic words" teachers can use for students struggling in online classes

Online learning was a real struggle for most of my students last spring.  Of my 81 students, my best estimate is that:

• About 10 preferred it to in-person learning.  These students fit into three categories:
  1. Students who dealt with bullying or other sources of anxiety at school
  2. No-nonsense high-achievers who were happy not to deal with the behaviors, questions, or distractions of other students in the class 
  3. Careful, perfectionist-types who enjoyed being able to take as long as they wanted to do their very best work
• About 20 didn't really like it, but were motivated by all the extra free-time it afforded them.  These were mostly boys who finished everything quickly each morning so they could play video games the rest of the day.
• About 50 were absolutely miserable.
  1. Some of these students heroically overcame their misery every day and dragged themselves through the experience, but struggled emotionally for doing so
  2. Some did everything possible to avoid the experience all together.  They missed class meetings, didn't turn in a lot of assignments, and skipped over lessons.

For those teachers who, like me, are preparing for an online teaching experience this fall, I want to talk about those miserable 50.  In particular, I want to share two sets of "magic words" I eventually discovered that went a long way toward keeping them going.  Magic words (or magic anything) are very rare in education, so I was as surprised as anyone with how consistently they worked.

One set of magic words applies to each of the two groups in the miserable category.  There's a set for the ones who suffered trying their best to power through, and another for those who didn't.

1.  "Me, too.  I understand."
For my miserable students that still fought the good fight every day, these words put them at ease.  Most of them were embarrassed to even tell me how miserable they were because they thought I would find it insulting.  Eventually, however, it would come out, often with tears accompanying - "I'm trying SO hard, but it is SO difficult to even get started every day because this is SO boring and I miss being at school.  I just hate it."

"Me, too.  I understand."

And I meant it.  When kids found out that it was just as hard for ME to drag myself to my desk every morning to start recording lessons, that I thought TEACHING online was boring, that I missed being at school just as much as they did, and I hated it, too, something changed for them.  At very least, they didn't think they were letting me down or that I was taking their misery personally.  We were in it together.  It didn't make the learning experience any better for them, but it did free them the additional burden of thinking I would judge them for how they felt.

2.  [Text message] - "Would you please have ________ call me when he/she has a chance?"
For the students who cut corners, avoided work, and were hard to reach, sending this text massage to their parents or guardians reliably got things moving in the right direction.  Here's why I think these were magic words:

• Kids in this category would ignore my calls, texts, and emails.  Some parents and guardians answer/return phone calls, and some don't.  Same with emails.  But every parent/guardian sees text messages.
• This message lets the parent or guardian know something is wrong, but doesn't make it their problem. 

Online learning puts an unbelievable burden on parents and guardians.  They want and expect their student to do well learning online, but many don't have the time or energy to be very hands-on about it.  Most also don't need one more thing that causes a fight with their child.  Sending this message lets parents and guardians know that their child is off course, but also re-assures them that I'm taking responsibility for getting them back on track, not off-loading it onto them.

Typically, the student would call me later that day already making progress on the missed instruction.  They knew full well what they hadn't done, and I rarely had to do much more than thank them for calling back and having a plan to get caught up.  I don't know what went on between the text and the phone call, but I know it worked!

Have you discovered any "magic words" for students who hate online learning?  If so, please share them in the comments so we can learn from them!


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