Parents out there, if you get to know many teachers, you'll quickly find that we're pretty much what you've always heard we are. We don't do it for the money, we don't do it for the summer vacations, and we don't do it because we're not good enough to do anything else.
We do it for your kids.
We do it for their future.
And we do it for you.
In the end, the thing we need most to keep going is to feel like we're making a difference in the life and future of your family.
Of the seven reasons most commonly cited for teachers wanting to quit, you as parents have the ability to have a big, positive impact on two of them: recognition and support. Nobody's opinion matters more to us than yours, and I mean it. Your family is who we're in this for, which means that your recognition and support matter more to us than any principal or superintendent.
Here are five ways you can recognize and support us so that today's teachers stick around and the next generation is willing to join us.
We do it for your kids.
We do it for their future.
And we do it for you.
In the end, the thing we need most to keep going is to feel like we're making a difference in the life and future of your family.
Of the seven reasons most commonly cited for teachers wanting to quit, you as parents have the ability to have a big, positive impact on two of them: recognition and support. Nobody's opinion matters more to us than yours, and I mean it. Your family is who we're in this for, which means that your recognition and support matter more to us than any principal or superintendent.
Here are five ways you can recognize and support us so that today's teachers stick around and the next generation is willing to join us.
1. Give your children's teachers frequent, specific compliments
Parents, there is nothing - nothing - NOTHING - that sends a teacher’s morale soaring like a compliment from you or from your children. We have every one of these we've ever received taped to our walls and in boxes in our desks. Yes, all the stuff in the news is about teachers wanting more money, support, autonomy, and respect, and all those things are important, but they pale in comparison to knowing that the work we do matters to you.
The trick to making this really work is to make the compliments frequent and specific. First, make them frequent. We tend to get a lot of notes of appreciation around the holidays and the end of the year. There are long stretches in between where we don’t hear any encouragement from families whatsoever, and it can really seem like we’re just working for nothing. Hearing a compliment from you or your student once or twice a month - however small - would really help teachers feel motivated and validated.
Second, make the compliments specific. “My son really loves the book you’re reading right now” or “my daughter came home wanting to talk all about the project you started in science today” are much better than “you’re amazing!” And notice - they’re just a sentence or two! So easy!
You don’t have to send a gift card or anything. It doesn't even have to be a handwritten note. Even a short text or email telling us that what we’re doing matters to your family makes all the difference. Of all 30 things I’m going to write about to every different group of people, this one might just make the biggest difference of all. Really. If every teacher in America got even a handful of these every month - much less one or two from every family - they'd teach until somebody forced them to stop.
Parents, there is nothing - nothing - NOTHING - that sends a teacher’s morale soaring like a compliment from you or from your children. We have every one of these we've ever received taped to our walls and in boxes in our desks. Yes, all the stuff in the news is about teachers wanting more money, support, autonomy, and respect, and all those things are important, but they pale in comparison to knowing that the work we do matters to you.
The trick to making this really work is to make the compliments frequent and specific. First, make them frequent. We tend to get a lot of notes of appreciation around the holidays and the end of the year. There are long stretches in between where we don’t hear any encouragement from families whatsoever, and it can really seem like we’re just working for nothing. Hearing a compliment from you or your student once or twice a month - however small - would really help teachers feel motivated and validated.
Second, make the compliments specific. “My son really loves the book you’re reading right now” or “my daughter came home wanting to talk all about the project you started in science today” are much better than “you’re amazing!” And notice - they’re just a sentence or two! So easy!
You don’t have to send a gift card or anything. It doesn't even have to be a handwritten note. Even a short text or email telling us that what we’re doing matters to your family makes all the difference. Of all 30 things I’m going to write about to every different group of people, this one might just make the biggest difference of all. Really. If every teacher in America got even a handful of these every month - much less one or two from every family - they'd teach until somebody forced them to stop.
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2. Tell the community positive things about your children's teachers
Love your kid’s teacher? Tell people! Tell the other parents at baseball practice how much your son loves science for the first time. Tell the principal how much your daughter’s self confidence has improved at the next PTA meeting. Share the good things happening for your kids at school on social media the same way you post about their sports and activities. If you follow me on Facebook or Instagram, you'll notice I try to do this very thing with the students in my class - I celebrate them publicly! |
"It says here that you're actually allowed to say positive things online. Is that true?
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Don’t love your kid’s teacher? Unfortunately, these tend to be the stories that get shared and that spread through the community. Please resist venting about us, no matter how much we deserve it, if you can. Maybe follow that whole “if you don’t have something nice to say…” advice you’re teaching the kids. More advice for how to handle the teachers you’re not thrilled with coming up next.
Help uplift us and share what we’re doing. What if everybody in your community and social media network knew how great your kid's teacher was the same way they knew how well their soccer team was doing? What if when we called to introduce ourselves to the new families next August, a handful of them said "we've heard so many great things about you!"? That is the kind of recognition and support that keeps teachers teaching and draws new folks in to join us.
3. If something is wrong, tell the teacher first - not their boss or Facebook
We screw up. And we’re probably going to screw up more and more as things get harder and harder in the classroom in the near future. We have to make hundreds of instantaneous decisions every hour. We have to come up with plans and policies that work best for the most number of students in the most different situations. Not all of those plans, policies, and decisions will be the right one for every student, every time, in every situation. Nothing we do is going to keep everybody happy.
It’s really hard.
Please, please, please, next time something isn’t going great for your student or the next time we flat out screw up, come to us first. Don’t go straight to our boss. Don’t blast our mistakes all over social media. Please tell us. When teachers who leave say they don't feel supported, this is a big example of it. Sometimes we screw up. Sometimes we don't even know that anything's wrong because parents don't tell us before they tell our boss or the rest of the world.
So please, tell us first. Give us a chance. How, you tell us matters, too, which brings me to…
4. If something is wrong, frame it as a problem that needs solving, not as an accusation
Help uplift us and share what we’re doing. What if everybody in your community and social media network knew how great your kid's teacher was the same way they knew how well their soccer team was doing? What if when we called to introduce ourselves to the new families next August, a handful of them said "we've heard so many great things about you!"? That is the kind of recognition and support that keeps teachers teaching and draws new folks in to join us.
3. If something is wrong, tell the teacher first - not their boss or Facebook
We screw up. And we’re probably going to screw up more and more as things get harder and harder in the classroom in the near future. We have to make hundreds of instantaneous decisions every hour. We have to come up with plans and policies that work best for the most number of students in the most different situations. Not all of those plans, policies, and decisions will be the right one for every student, every time, in every situation. Nothing we do is going to keep everybody happy.
It’s really hard.
Please, please, please, next time something isn’t going great for your student or the next time we flat out screw up, come to us first. Don’t go straight to our boss. Don’t blast our mistakes all over social media. Please tell us. When teachers who leave say they don't feel supported, this is a big example of it. Sometimes we screw up. Sometimes we don't even know that anything's wrong because parents don't tell us before they tell our boss or the rest of the world.
So please, tell us first. Give us a chance. How, you tell us matters, too, which brings me to…
4. If something is wrong, frame it as a problem that needs solving, not as an accusation
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“My son got the worst grade he’s ever gotten on a math test - what should we do?” makes us feel a lot more supported than “how dare you give my son a bad grade on a math test he studied for!” “My daughter is having some real problems with another girl in the class - can you help?” is a lot more productive than “you need to get that other girl away from my daughter and into the principal’s office RIGHT NOW.”
Like I said, we’ll mess up and there will be problems. When you contact your student’s teacher about problems and mistakes, please do so from a problem-solving perspective. What should we do? How can we help? Could he do this instead? We want the best for your kids. When they aren’t getting it, give us a chance. Help us solve the problem rather than accusing us of the worst. That is the kind of support teachers say they lack. |
"Looks like it's time for ANOTHER one of those 'how do we solve this' conversations with him."
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5. Take our side
This is the hardest one to swallow, parents, so get ready.
Take the teacher’s side when you get bad news.
If we take the time to contact you about problems with your student’s academic performance or behavior, we need you to support us. You’d be amazed at how often we call home about problems at school, only to have parents say “no way - my child would never do that - you’re wrong - you’re picking on them - you’re singling them out - etc.” Some parents even act like they’re the judge and jury, hearing us out, then hearing the child out, and deciding who they believe.
If a teacher uses some of his or her precious time to contact you about a problem, the problem is real and the teacher cares. The ones that don't care - the ones that truly might be doing your kid a disservice - won't reach out to you at all. They'll hope you don't notice. They'll let your child flounder. They'll ignore problems.
This one won’t always be easy. Your mama-bear or papa-bear instincts will kick in and you’ll want to defend your child and protect them from consequences. Resist that urge. Flip back to the advice in #4 - “what do we do?” “How can we help?”
If we’re going to continue doing this difficult job, we need your support. We need you on our side.
There you have it. A remarkably simple, five-step plan for you as a parent to single-handedly have a positive impact on the teacher shortage. The whole plan would probably involve less than an hour each school year of your time, and if even 20% percent of parents at every school followed it, teaching would be the most competitive program to get into at every University in the U.S.
That's it.
That's your part.
With nothing but a little recognition and support, you - yes, YOU - can help end the teacher shortage.
This is the hardest one to swallow, parents, so get ready.
Take the teacher’s side when you get bad news.
If we take the time to contact you about problems with your student’s academic performance or behavior, we need you to support us. You’d be amazed at how often we call home about problems at school, only to have parents say “no way - my child would never do that - you’re wrong - you’re picking on them - you’re singling them out - etc.” Some parents even act like they’re the judge and jury, hearing us out, then hearing the child out, and deciding who they believe.
If a teacher uses some of his or her precious time to contact you about a problem, the problem is real and the teacher cares. The ones that don't care - the ones that truly might be doing your kid a disservice - won't reach out to you at all. They'll hope you don't notice. They'll let your child flounder. They'll ignore problems.
This one won’t always be easy. Your mama-bear or papa-bear instincts will kick in and you’ll want to defend your child and protect them from consequences. Resist that urge. Flip back to the advice in #4 - “what do we do?” “How can we help?”
If we’re going to continue doing this difficult job, we need your support. We need you on our side.
There you have it. A remarkably simple, five-step plan for you as a parent to single-handedly have a positive impact on the teacher shortage. The whole plan would probably involve less than an hour each school year of your time, and if even 20% percent of parents at every school followed it, teaching would be the most competitive program to get into at every University in the U.S.
- Give your children's teachers one or two specific compliments each month
- Tell the community and your social media network positive things about them
- If something is wrong, tell them first
- If something is wrong, frame it as a problem that needs solving rather than an accusation, and
- Take our side when bad news arrives
That's it.
That's your part.
With nothing but a little recognition and support, you - yes, YOU - can help end the teacher shortage.
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